First Penis I Saw - feat. Donna Lynne Champlin - 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend'

GET THE SONG: https://lnk.to/cxg3

First Penis I Saw
Starring Donna Lynne Champlin
Featuring Shamicka Benn, Meghan Buckley, Gwen Hillier
Written by Adam Schlesinger, Rachel Bloom, Jack Dolgen

PAULA
I’VE THOUGHT ABOUT HIM FOR SO LONG
THOSE MEMORIES ARE CRYSTAL CLEAR
I WAS SO YOUNG, HE WAS SO BIG AND STRONG
I CAN’T BELIEVE THAT HE’S RIGHT HERE!
I WAS SUCH AN INNOCENT GIRL WHEN WE FIRST MET
HE OPENED UP MY EYES, SHOWED ME A WHOLE NEW WORLD...
SO HOW COULD I EVER FORGET... THE FIRST PENIS I SAW!

PAULA/GROCERY CLERK/CYNTHIA
FIRST PENIS VERY FIRST PENIS FIRST PENIS
PAULA
VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW

PAULA/GROCERY CLERK/CYNTHIA
FIRST PENIS VERY FIRST PENIS PENIS/ FIRST PENIS
PAULA
VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW
AND OF ALL THE PENISES I’VE SEEN,
HIS HAD THE BIGGEST IMPACT,
AND BY THAT WHAT I MEAN
IS IT REALLY MADE ME DROP MY JAW
‘‘CAUSE IT WAS
THE VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW.
A FEW TIMES BEFORE I’D FELT IT THROUGH HIS PANTS
AND JUST GENERALLY KINDA RUBBED IT.
BUT THAT NIGHT I DECIDED TO TAKE A CHANCE
I TOOK IT OUT AND HE REALLY SEEMED TO LOVE IT!
I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO NEXT
I DIDN’T HAVE THAT PART PLANNED
HE SAID “LET ME SHOW YOU SOME BASIC MOVES”
AND THEN HE TOOK MY HAND...
AND TAUGHT ME ALL ABOUT THE...

PAULA/GROCERY CLERK/CYNTHIA
FIRST PENIS VERY FIRST PENIS FIRST PENIS

PAULA
VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW

PAULA/GROCERY CLERK/CYNTHIA
FIRST PENIS VERY FIRST PENIS PENIS

PAULA
FIRST PENIS VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW
NOT THE DIRTIEST -- ALSO NOT THE CLEANEST
IN TERMS OF PENIS I REALLY WAS THE GREENEST
I WAS IN TOTAL AWE OF
THE VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW

(spoken) He’s coming, bail on the turntable!

I WAS SO EAGER I COULDN’T HIDE MY KEENNESS
EVERYTHING ABOUT IT SEEMED QUITE INGENIOUS
I COULDN’T FIND A SINGLE FLAW
IN THE
FIRST PENIS/ VERY FIRST PENIS
VERY FIRST PENIS I SAW!