Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too - 'Crazy Ex-Girlfriend'

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Fit Hot Guys Have Problems Too
Starring Scott Michael Foster, David Hull & Vincent Rodriguez III
Written by Rachel Bloom, Adam Schlesinger, Grant Michaels & Jack Dolgen


WHITE JOSH
1--

NATHANIEL
2--

NATHANIEL AND WHITE JOSH
1-2-3-4!

NATHANIEL
WE KNOW WHAT PEOPLE THINK WHEN THEY SEE US

WHITE JOSH
THAT WE’RE SO HOT, IT’S INSANE.

NATHANIEL
(AYNE AYNE AYNE AYNE)

WHITE JOSH
WHEN WE EXIT A POOL WE DO IT IN SLOW MOTION

NATHANIEL
BUT THAT DON’T MEAN WE CAN’T COMPLAIN…

NATHANIEL AND WHITE JOSH
CUZ FIT HOT GUYS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO
DON’T LOOK AT US
WE’RE NOT DANCING FOR YOU!
THIS IS OUR QUIET
PERSONAL TIME TO REFLECT

WE BOTH HAVE ALMOST NO BODY FAT
BUT WE’RE TOO BUMMED OUT
TO TALK ABOUT THAT
I KNOW WE LOOK SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU
BUT FIT HOT GUYS HAVE PROBLEMS, TOO.
UH

WHITE JOSH
EVERYONE IS AT OUR SEXUAL MERCY
BE THEM A MISTER--

NATHANIEL
OR MISS.

WHITE JOSH
(MISS MISS MISS)

NATHANIEL
BUT WHEN WE’RE DOWN ON OUR KNEES

WHITE JOSH
NO ONE HAS SYMPATHY.

NATHANIEL
BECAUSE THEY ONLY SEE THIS--

WHITE JOSH
AND THIS--

NATHANIEL
AND THIS--

WHITE JOSH
AND THIS--

NATHANIEL
AND THIS--

WHITE JOSH
AND THIS--

NATHANIEL
AND THIS--

NATHANIEL AND WHITE JOSH
BUT WHAT ABOUT…
THIS?

CUZ FIT HOT GUYS HAVE
PROBLEMS TOO
DON’T LOOK AT US, WE’RE NOT DANCING FOR YOU!
IT’S JUST HARD TO PROCESS EMOTIONS WITH OUR CLOTHES ON.
(CLOTHES ON, CLOTHES ON, CLOTHES ON).

OUR PECS ARE PERFECT BUT WE HAVE BAD DAYS
SO DON’T OBJECTIFY US
WITH YOUR MALE AND FEMALE GAZE
WE HAVE CHILDHOOD TRAUMAS
JUST LIKE YOU
CUZ FIT HOT GUYS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO.
UH

NATHANIEL
Give us back our shirts, you monsters!

WHITE JOSH
Yeah!

Josh? Wait, you’re actually here?

JOSH
Uh, yeah. This is my new job. I’m a go-go dancer at this club.

WHITE JOSH
Ah, that tracks.

NATHANIEL
Wanna join our imaginary song and dance?

JOSH
Sure.

NATHANIEL, WHITE JOSH & JOSH
CUZ FIT HOT GUYS HAVE PROBLEMS TOO.
DON’T LOOK AT US, WE’RE NOT DANCING FOR YOU!
LEAVE US ALONE
WE HAVE TO TWERK OUT OUR SAD.
(SAD SAD SAD SAD)
(SAD SAD SAD)

WE’RE EXPRESSING OUR PAIN
THROUGH THE ART OF DANCE
BUT WE’LL EXPRESS SO MUCH BETTER
WITHOUT THESE PANTS.

THERE’S SO MUCH PRESSURE WHEN YOU’RE A FIT HOT GUY
SO JUST LET US UGLY CRY!

LET US UGLY CRY!