4 Killer Magic Power Phrases For Work--And 4 to Avoid--Say This Not That--the Original Book

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In this professional communication training video about 4 killer magic power phrases for work (and 4 to avoid), communication coach Dan O'Connor discusses danger phrases that damage your message and your image, and power phrases that enhance both.

"I don't appreciate. . . ." is neither direct, nor directive. Instead of stating what we don’t want, savvy communicators state what we do want. The next time you’re about to say, “I don’t appreciate . . . ,” instead, give clear instructions. For example: "I don't appreciate it when swear in front of me." Instead try , "Please omit profanity when we talk. Profanity distracts me from your message, and I want to hear what you're saying." Or compare: "I don't appreciate it when you leave your dirty dishes in the sink, Jean Marie" with "Jean Marie, please do your dishes as you use them, so we can keep the kitchen looking clean and fresh."

Danger Phrase: "Whatever. . . ." Just eliminate that word entirely--as a response to something you are dismissing. It will never evoke a positive reaction, and it signals that we have run out of responses--or words--and that never happens to a savvy communicator. Never. If you have something to say, say it in a clear, direct manner. If you have nothing to add, or don't want to discuss things further, it is far better to say absolutely nothing than to say "whatever."

Danger Phrase: "Good job." Power Phrase: "You made a real contribution. . . ." If you are taking note of someone's good work or good effort, be specific. "Good job" is not offensive, of course, and it's better than not recognizing the person at all. But if you want to truly reinforce and motivate someone, tell that person exactly what you are praising. Compare "Good Job, James" with "James, you made a real contribution to the team by bringing that sale home. I'm proud of you, and you should be proud of yourself!" James will be far more motivated if you use just a few words to show him you noticed and appreciated what he did.

Danger Phrase: "I lied." Power Phrase: "I misspoke." By the way--the same thing applies if you are holding someone else accountable--don't start out with "You lied to me" or you'll never know the truth. However, if you begin with "I think you just misspoke," the person will not be so defensive, and just may reveal the truth to you. An excellent answer to "BUT YOU SAID" (when you have not stated the facts correctly) is "I misspoke." It happens.

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