Morbius Broke Me

I went to see Morbius, with the intention of being able to make one of my standard video essays investigating something, some theme or some idea, from the film. This... did not happen. Morbius left me broken, bruised, and ill. I don't typically make videos like this - it's fairly nitpicky at times, and skews a little closer to the 'CinemaSins school of faux-criticism' than I'd like. But this isn't an analysis so much as it's an audio recording of me losing my mind in the wake of this disaster of a film. I wasn't even sure whether to publish it. Part of me wondered if I should have kept the audio to myself, and treated it as therapy rather than content. But some of the folks in the Discord wanted to see it, so here you go: Pillar of Garbage going insane over Morbius.

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Timestamps:
0:00 Introduction
0:58 Bad Opening and Bad Pacing
4:15 The Worst Children’s Ward
8:12 Actors, Performances, and Martine
9:56 I’M ON A BOAT, I’M ON A BOAT
10:55 Big Scene
13:36 Awesome Detectives Being Awesome
15:26 Milo Makes No Sense, Etc.
18:05 Why Should We Like Morbius?
20:10 Vampire POWERS!
22:40 Why Morbius Broke Me
23:51 AAARRHHGHHH
26:14 How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Sony

#morbius #spiderman #marvel